Well, well, well.  The results of the first major poll of the Kentucky campaign season are in and, yes folks, we gots ourselves a horse race.  The results are that of 500 Republicans surveyed,  Gov. Ernie has 39%, Anne Northup has 39%, and Billy Harper has 10%.  These results are significant.  They mean that less than half of Kentucky Republicans support Gov.(I am not a crook)Ernie, less than half support Anne(I'm too rich to bake cookies)Northup, and 90% of Kentucky Republicans STILL have no idea where Paducah is. 

Now for Gov. Ernie, the results can't be too good.  For a sitting incumbent who has, supposedly, done so much good for the state, to come in with such low numbers tells us what we already know: He is beatable.  Worse than that, if he is beatable in the Republican polls, odds are, he is beatable in the state election.  Incumbent or not, he can lose.  Fletcher's campaign now has no room for error.  His numbers can only go up slightly, but, with one false move, they can also plummet significantly.  For RHINO Annie and Billy Harper, the polls are more interesting.  RHINO Annie is almost in the same leaky boat as Gov. Ernie.  While it is possible for her numbers to increase, one bad batch of cookies, or one bad hair day, or campaigning without a platform or solutions to the problems facing our state, and her numbers could bottom out.  Billy Harper is actually in the best position.  He can only go up.  The more he campaigns, the more face time in front of the voters he accrues, the harder the Harperites work for him, the more of a possibility his numbers could increase before May.

Having waxed philisophical on the aforementioned polls I now utter this: I do not like or trust polls!  The news media tell us that we need polls to tap into the mindset of the voters, to show all of us what we're thinking.  This is the same leftist, atheistic, lying, fact-skewering, plageristic, media that tells us a free press is the cornerstone of democracy.

In my mind the real reason the media loves polls is because polls are another form of propaganda.  To further explore this idea, we must now enter the minds of the media.  First, the media assumes we, the people, are all stupid.  After all, we did elect Ronald Reagan and George BushII twice.  We also don't like abortions, gay marriages, or Slick Willie Clinton's
New World Order, which would eliminate all goverments of the world and subordinate us all to the United Nations(We then would become the Federation of Nations and eventually the Federation of Planets, which would enthuse Trekkies, because now the USS Enterprise could become a reality.  Then all trekkies would move out of their parent's basement and get a life.).  In order to counteract this stupidity the media believes it is their duty to brainwash us into becoming a civilized society, acceptable to Europe.  In addition to lying and fact-skewering, polls are also a part of their tools. 

Media pollsters know exactly what results they want and how to frame the questions to get the desired answers.  This is why in 2000 the standard question was:"If the election were held tomorrow, would you vote for a vice-president, who was a senator, who had a body guard assigned to him while he served in Vietnam and who's father, a former senator, was a racist Dixie Democrat who supported George Wallace and school segregation, or a pot smoking, alcoholic, frat boy from Texas who's father was President of the United States?" and again in 2004: "If the election were held tomorrow, would you vote for a senator who misrepresented his war record, symbolically tossed medals that didnt belong to him into the Reflection Pool, married rich twice, and had his picture hanging in a Vietnam museum praising his efforts in aiding in the communist take-over, or a pot smoking, alcoholic, frat boy from Texas who is President of the United States?"  Having done all that work to get both Al Gore and John Kerry's poll numbers right and get them elected, imagine their surprise when GW won both times!  Only proves how stupid we Americans are! 

In my newly adopted culture here in Kentucky, I find two things prominent: a).Kentuckians dont like polls and, b). Kentuckians dont like turn-signals.  The reason for both is that down here we value secrecy.  To us, it's nobodys business who we vote for, or, which way we're turning  (Heck, it took me two years to find out that the reason my neighbor has cows is to extract the methane gas they leave to run his still.  I have forwarded this idea to Al Gore, but have not received a reply). 

So, in my mind, there is a reasonable possibility that these poll results might be a tad off.  I should know, because I'm guilty of the same thing: lying to pollsters.  When asked in 2000 who'd I vote for, I told a pollster that of course I would support that son-of-a-senator, Al Gore.  I then went ahead to work for and vote for George W. Bush.  In 2004, when I was asked who'd I vote for, I said sure I'd vote for the American gigaloo and every communist's favorite son, John Kerry, then worked for and voted for Mr. Bush again.

So to Gov. Ernie and RHINO Annie the WOLF'S DEN would say: be afraid, be very afraid.  Because if there are a significant number of Kentuckians like me those poll numbers of yours are about as useless as breasts on a bull.  To Billy Harper, the only viable Republican candidate, the WOLF'S DEN would say: take heart, the only way you can go now is up!

Yeppers folks, we got us a horserace.  Stay tuned for the results...